Entries Tagged 'Random' ↓

August 30^th marks my 1 year anniversary of writing for All Diva Media. For the last year, I’ve looked at marriage in a different way. I’ve applied critical thinking to issues in my marriage, my friend’s marriage, co-workers and even what I see on TV and read about on the web. I can’t tell you have invaluable it’s been to look at marriage through critical lenses.

Anniversaries, no matter that we are celebrating, are a time to reflect on what we love and how things have changed since the beginning. This has been a year of change for me personally and I love that I get a chance to write about those changes as they relate to marriage.

Anniversaries are a time to figure out what the future holds too. For marriage that can mean taking a step forward to have a baby, move, go to counseling, or seek time apart. The anniversary calls attention to what’s happening in the marriage. An anniversary could be a new beginning. Celebrate a milestone and look to the future!

Anniversaries are a time to remember and rejoice in the memories of the past. For wedding anniversaries, you might look at your album or watch the video from the ceremony. Perhaps you talk about anniversary past or talk about why you married each other in the first place. It’s the one time of year in a marriage that living in the past is acceptable.

For my blog-versary, I looked at some of my past posts and remembered what caused me to write about the topic. It might have been something that happened to me, happened to a friend, something I read about or watched on television or something my husband brought up from the male point of view. However the idea came to me, it was something that struck me as important or useful to a marriage and most likely, it impacted my life somehow.

It’s been a fun year and I look forward to learning along with my readers about the mystery that is marriage!

Technorati Tags: blog, anniversary, marriage

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I recently met someone who admitted to me that she wasn’t in love with her husband, even when she married him. She loved him and really liked his company and his friendship, but she was head over heels in love. I’m pretty sure he knew that too. She said she wasn’t looking for romance; the relationship was mutually beneficial. I guess you could call it a marriage of convenience.

Why not just live together and if it turns into a common law marriage, so be it?

Do people like this get married to fit in with others? To make their family and friends happy? To gain tax breaks?

Honestly, I think people should get married for their own reasons, but I feel bad that people settle for less than fireworks, romance, friendship, stability and most importantly love. I would hope that everyone who has a wedding days feels the same euphoria I did and it’s sad that not everyone gets that chance.

Technorati Tags: common law, marriage, convenience, husband, wife

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In the nearly 7 years I’ve been married, I’ve learned a lot from my husband. I think I take a lot of it for granted but I took a few minutes to reflect and think about what he’s taught me.

1. How to make tuna casserole. I didn’t come from a casserole eating family, he did (4 BIG boys in one house - casseroles were a must). I never thought I’d like noodles, cream of mushroom soup and tuna quite so much.

2. How to enjoy foot massages. I used to HATE having my feet rubbed. Oh how I enjoy it so now.

3. How to play strategy games (and like it). Ok, I’ll NEVER like Risk, but I have been introduced to some pretty fun games that don’t just involve drawing a card and heading to Gum Drop Mountain.

4. I look at packaging. Being married to an engineer who has dealt with how products are packaged in different jobs he’s had, he’s always looking at how products are kept safe harm. I do that now and then ask him about their process. It’s really dorky but without him I never would have noticed.

5. How to let go. I’ve always been a really tense person and he’s really helped me to take time to enjoy what I’m doing and take a break from the worry. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

I think spouses should always try to learn and teach from on another. What have you learned from your husband or wife through the years?

Technorati Tags: learning, teaching, education, husband, wife, spouse

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While I’m busy packing up boxes for the move, I’ll live you, Dear Readers, with some great marriage links! I’m sure in the coming weeks I’ll have tons of great stories about how to deal with major change in your marriage!

Pitt Brad - Holly, I almost peed a little when I read this - FUNNY STUFF! Audet!

Old School - Marriage Actually has added a couple new faces.  Welcome Mary and Marc!

Best Marriage Advice - A list of short pieces of marriage advice.

Pets and Marriage - See, I knew our cats did more than just leave us piles of fur.

Chemistry.com - Ok, you and your spouse sign up this just to take the personality test. It’s fun to see if you would be matched together! We used disposable email addresses. I know….sneaky. But we did find out that our personalities were a match. Maybe there’s something to be said for online dating!

Marriage Facts - Just a fun collection of marriage facts and figures.

Building a Passionate Marriage - In the wise words of the prophets two, Salt-N-Pepa, let’s talk about sex, baby. Wow…I can’t believe I could work in the name of quesi-feminist rap duo from the 80’s into this blog.

Ok, back to my week of packing peanuts and cardboard boxes! Someone get some extra sleep for me!

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I was talking with a friend of mine the other day about old jobs. Back in college I worked as a librarian at a small town library. It was a great job, lots of interesting people. Let’s see, there was the VERY religious family who had all their children dress alike. All the girls were prairie like dresses in the same pattern and the boys all had the same shirt and pants. And they weren’t twins. I think there were about 20 of them…or maybe 8. It’s been a long time. Another doozy was the woman who constantly argued about how her romance novels were NOT late and she refused to pay the fines. My boss always relented and would erase her fines enough that she was able to check out more trashy books. She yelled a lot. I remember on the last day she came in and I refused to check books until she paid.

But I also remember a small Thai woman who would come in with a much older man who looked like he was about to lose his legs to diabetes. She was probably in her late 20’s and he had to be in his 60’s. Being that it was a small town, I found out that she was a mail order bride. Oooh the scandal! I don’t think they could go anywhere in town without whispers following.

But I remember watching them. I never got the feeling the woman was unhappy. And the guy didn’t seem like a deviant either. They seemed very kind to one another. She took very good care of him; helping him along or pushing him in his wheelchair. They’d look at books and movies together and carry on normal conversations. I’d see them around town eating out and they both seemed very content. He had someone to help him and she was about to come to the U.S. and have some financial stability. All in all, it didn’t seem dubious or tawdry. A little lackluster maybe, but really not all that bad. Looking back, I’m sure they had a better relationship than a lot of the Stepford wives in the town.

What do you think? Can a mail order marriage work? Does there have to be romance for it to be a marriage?

Technorati Tags: mail order, mail order bride, mail order marriage, wive, romance, husband, wife

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