Entries Tagged 'Op Ed Rants' ↓

I was happy to see that Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi were able to enjoy a wedding day just like any other couple in love. I was all over the internet looking for pictures and I must say Portia looked gorgeous and Ellen looked, well comfortable (I wasn’t a fan of the ensemble, sorry Ellen).

My wedding day was the happiest day of my life. So full of excitement and wonder - this coming from the girl that didn’t even want the big wedding she had. I kept thinking that marriage wasn’t going to change anything and to be honest there are part of our life together that didn’t change, but I did feel like I joined some super secret club when I said my vows. We were really a team, in the eyes of the church, the state, the world and each other. I wish that happiness for anyone who is lucky enough to find someone they can commit their life to, regardless of gender.

For those who feel gay marriage is wrong, you are entitled to your beliefs. But for those men and women can know openly and proudly introduce their partner as their husband or wife, I am so happy for you. At the same time, I hope that gay couples didn’t run off and get married to make a point just to turn around and divorce 6 months down the road. People who do that are as bad as those who say gay marriage is a moral sin. Marriage is sacred and should be treated with dignity; not as a political speaking point.

Although I didn’t think I would feel different after getting married, I did in a way and it seems, so did Ellen!

“It feels different,” DeGeneres told People of being married. “I was already planning on spending the rest of my life with her. But until you’re married, you just don’t know. It fees (sic) wonderful.”

[tags]marriage, married, Ellen Degeneres, Portia De Rossie, gay marriage[/tag]

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I recently met someone who admitted to me that she wasn’t in love with her husband, even when she married him. She loved him and really liked his company and his friendship, but she was head over heels in love. I’m pretty sure he knew that too. She said she wasn’t looking for romance; the relationship was mutually beneficial. I guess you could call it a marriage of convenience.

Why not just live together and if it turns into a common law marriage, so be it?

Do people like this get married to fit in with others? To make their family and friends happy? To gain tax breaks?

Honestly, I think people should get married for their own reasons, but I feel bad that people settle for less than fireworks, romance, friendship, stability and most importantly love. I would hope that everyone who has a wedding days feels the same euphoria I did and it’s sad that not everyone gets that chance.

Technorati Tags: common law, marriage, convenience, husband, wife

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Since the move to Cleveland, I’ve started to get acclimated to the area. We’re enjoying our new neighborhood and the fact we can walk to a lot of restaurants and stores, plus I’m settling into my new full-time job nicely to boot! And I currently possess a fantastic and wonderful thing - a househusband. I come home from work to find my husband chopping stuff up for dinner or a new room in our home a little more unpacked. The place is clean and he’s taking care of all the bills and the final details on the closing of our home. Let me tell you, a good househusband is a wonderful thing!

How many of you out there think a househusband is lazy for not working? Shamefully, I know the thought would cross my mind if it wasn’t my husband tending to the house. I’m thankful that while we’re getting settled he’s at home taking care of things and I know that soon enough we’ll both be out of the house working. We’ll be more harried in the evenings and the mornings, but right now I’m glad things are the way they are. But I have to admit, I miss cooking dinner.

When it comes to marital and gender roles, how open minded are you? Do you still look at your marriage in stereotypical gender roles?

Technorati Tags: househusband, gender roles, marriage, husband, wife

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Rachel Dratch used to play this character on SNL called Debbie Downer. Basically she was that person who, no matter how good things are going, only had negative things to say. It was pretty funny ON TV! Today I want to address the issue of people in our lives that are complete Debbie Downers of marriage (herein referred to as DDoM) .

To be a DDoM, the person must be married. Divorcees don’t count. The have other issues to deal with if they are a little down on marriage, it’s ok. For a while. I have a cut off for them too, but that’s for another post.

Some of the traits include of a DD include:

• Constant whining about their spouse and the opposite sex in general.
• They bitch and moan about the lack of attention/sex/home cooked meals/flowers/love/affection from their spouse.
• They are always trying to get other spouses (of their own gender) on their side, thus making life more difficult for other husbands and wives.
• They only want to commiserate and bemoan their lives rather than take advice from their audience.
• Did I mention they are whiny? They are. Take my word for it.

I have a marriage saboteur in my life like this, and as much as I care about this person it drives me crazy. Randy and I have talked and vented about it quite a bit and realize there’s nothing we can do to stop this person. Advice as be asked for, given and ignored only to be replaced with more of the same complaints.

What can you do? They aren’t willing to make changes, their spouse isn’t willing to make changes, so there you have it. A broken record. I haven’t quite gotten up the nerve to tell the person “DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT OR SHUT UP ALREADY!”

Do you have a friend or family member who is a Debbie Downer when it comes to marriage? How do you deal with it? I hear strangling them is out of the question (something about laws or something).

_{Photo Credit}

Technorati Tags: debbie downer, marrage, bitching, moaning, husband, wife, complain, marriage issues, marriage advice, marriage problems

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I’ve been doing some reading on individuals who are anti marriage; people that are in committed relationships and see the act of marriage as stifling and a historic monstrosity. I’m talking about the individuals who believe don’t see marriage as the joining of two lives to work together but rather the dismantling of two lives.

But my favorite kind of people and the ones I’ll concentrate on today are the couples who get married anyway, just to make life easier. The ones that think they know so much more about the evolution of the human spirit, but get married to make things easier and to get their families off their backs. You see, they are tired of having to explain their marital views because it takes away time they could be spouting off about explaining how the holiday everyone in the room is there to celebrate is just another way for the Christian Right to keep a firm hold on Americans. So it’s just easier to get married and complain about how patriarchal and antiquated views forced them to.

Don’t even get them started on the antediluvian tradition of the woman taking the man’s last name! Seriously…there’s no way to stop them after that can of worms is opened. To you folks - Very simple. Don’t change your name. If anyone asks why you didn’t (and that’s just rude) just say that you didn’t want to. Don’t use it as an opportunity to give them a history lesson in feminist history. Side note: I honestly believe it should be easier for the man to take the woman’s name if the couple wants to do it that way. It’s waaaay too hard the way the system works now. See - I’m all for progress.
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