Entries Tagged 'Married Life' ↓

The other day, a friend of mind was telling me about one of her male coworkers who is attending a bachelor party this weekend. He then told her the groom is 21 and the couple seems most excited about the mini cupcakes and chocolate fondue fountain they are serving at their reception. It was pretty much unanimous in her office that 21 is too young to get married.

She was 26 when she married her husband, and I was 25 when Mr. Diva and I tied the knot. Perhaps we were too young too? I did a little survey at work and I found that everyone in my general area was over 30 when they married their spouses.

I agree 21 seems a little young for most, but I think life experience could change that. Those serving in the military might be a much older 21 than I was at 25, for example. At the same time, a couple of 21 year old, freshly graduated pair of love birds who met while doing tequila shooters and upside margaritas during their last semester at college seem far, FAR too young to be marching down to the local courthouse to get a marriage license.

I don’t know, love is love, but reality it reality too. I think sound marriage advice to any young couple is to make sure you can take care of yourself before you get into a marriage. Don’t be in a rush to go from your dorm room, barracks or parents home just to set up house with your true love. Marriage is forever and if you do it too young or too soon it will literally feel like F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

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I’m in a training session for work this week on change management. Basically the class is about how to get people to embrace change in an organization. It comes down to making people aware that a change needs to or is going to take place, build desire around the change, making sure people have the knowledge to implement and the ability to implement the change and reinforce the behavior.

Today in class we had to write about a change we wanted someone to make. The challenge was it was supposed to be a person away from work. Well in a room of mostly married people, the theme was pretty apparent - those annoying little habits our spouses have. As we shared the change we wanted to facilitate, the person leading the training said something very telling. She said “You see, everyone in the room is only looking at the problem through their own scope and not taking into account how the change effects the lives of the person of whom we’re asking to change.” And she’s right! Talk about being narcissist! When we ask our spouse to make a change, we really only see how the change changes OUR lives and not theirs.

It was a good piece of marriage advice that I got from the most unlikely of places - corporate training! The next time you ask your spouse to make a change, take time to find out how your request will impact them and make sure the change really needs to take place for your to feel complete.

Technorati Tags: corporate training, marriage, advice, husband, wife, change

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Since the move to Cleveland, I’ve started to get acclimated to the area. We’re enjoying our new neighborhood and the fact we can walk to a lot of restaurants and stores, plus I’m settling into my new full-time job nicely to boot! And I currently possess a fantastic and wonderful thing - a househusband. I come home from work to find my husband chopping stuff up for dinner or a new room in our home a little more unpacked. The place is clean and he’s taking care of all the bills and the final details on the closing of our home. Let me tell you, a good househusband is a wonderful thing!

How many of you out there think a househusband is lazy for not working? Shamefully, I know the thought would cross my mind if it wasn’t my husband tending to the house. I’m thankful that while we’re getting settled he’s at home taking care of things and I know that soon enough we’ll both be out of the house working. We’ll be more harried in the evenings and the mornings, but right now I’m glad things are the way they are. But I have to admit, I miss cooking dinner.

When it comes to marital and gender roles, how open minded are you? Do you still look at your marriage in stereotypical gender roles?

Technorati Tags: househusband, gender roles, marriage, husband, wife

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In the nearly 7 years I’ve been married, I’ve learned a lot from my husband. I think I take a lot of it for granted but I took a few minutes to reflect and think about what he’s taught me.

1. How to make tuna casserole. I didn’t come from a casserole eating family, he did (4 BIG boys in one house - casseroles were a must). I never thought I’d like noodles, cream of mushroom soup and tuna quite so much.

2. How to enjoy foot massages. I used to HATE having my feet rubbed. Oh how I enjoy it so now.

3. How to play strategy games (and like it). Ok, I’ll NEVER like Risk, but I have been introduced to some pretty fun games that don’t just involve drawing a card and heading to Gum Drop Mountain.

4. I look at packaging. Being married to an engineer who has dealt with how products are packaged in different jobs he’s had, he’s always looking at how products are kept safe harm. I do that now and then ask him about their process. It’s really dorky but without him I never would have noticed.

5. How to let go. I’ve always been a really tense person and he’s really helped me to take time to enjoy what I’m doing and take a break from the worry. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

I think spouses should always try to learn and teach from on another. What have you learned from your husband or wife through the years?

Technorati Tags: learning, teaching, education, husband, wife, spouse

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With the upcoming move, things have been super stressful. We’ve found a small place to rent for a few months in our new city and we were lucky enough to have our house sell in two days. That was a mixed bag of emotions. I went from elated to be out from under a mortgage and rent to feeling like my favorite aunt died.

On our way back to the house from Cleveland, I cried most of the way. Randy was pretty quiet too. He’s not much of a crier but I could tell selling the house was hard on him too. Between fits of tears, I thought about everything I needed to do before we moved and the stress kept right on piling up. We talk and talk about what needs to get done right away, what can wait until closing to the house closing. We have lists and lists of things to we to do, store, sell, fix, and buy. Crazy times.

This has probably been one of the most simultaneously stressful times for us as a couple. There have been times that I was the rock and times he was the rock. Now we don’t a rock but we cling to each other fiercely. At night I’ve found that we hold onto one another more tightly than usual. We’re touching each other more than normal. It has to be a primate thing, but I’m not going to complain because for some reason it truly makes me feel better.

I propose you give it a try with your spouse. The next time the world feels like it’s going to swallow you whole, just hold each other.

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