Entries Tagged 'Advice' ↓

The other day, a friend of mind was telling me about one of her male coworkers who is attending a bachelor party this weekend. He then told her the groom is 21 and the couple seems most excited about the mini cupcakes and chocolate fondue fountain they are serving at their reception. It was pretty much unanimous in her office that 21 is too young to get married.

She was 26 when she married her husband, and I was 25 when Mr. Diva and I tied the knot. Perhaps we were too young too? I did a little survey at work and I found that everyone in my general area was over 30 when they married their spouses.

I agree 21 seems a little young for most, but I think life experience could change that. Those serving in the military might be a much older 21 than I was at 25, for example. At the same time, a couple of 21 year old, freshly graduated pair of love birds who met while doing tequila shooters and upside margaritas during their last semester at college seem far, FAR too young to be marching down to the local courthouse to get a marriage license.

I don’t know, love is love, but reality it reality too. I think sound marriage advice to any young couple is to make sure you can take care of yourself before you get into a marriage. Don’t be in a rush to go from your dorm room, barracks or parents home just to set up house with your true love. Marriage is forever and if you do it too young or too soon it will literally feel like F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

Share This

Dude, I am so not getting a Dell (again). I’m in PC hell lately. I’ve cleared and cleaned and move stuff around to get my stupid laptop to run faster but my trusty old Inspiron 6000 is having none of it. All this computer cleaning got me thinking at how you computer maintenance and marriage maintenance have a lot in common. Here are a some helpful computer/marriage tips to think about!

1. Want it run smoothly? Don’t run too much at once!

If you have a million programs or processes running on your computer, it will inevitably run slower. In a marriage, if you and your spouse are always on the go, have a calendar filled with activities (together or separate), and rarely take a couple hours to just spend together, you’ll likely find your marriage isn’t running as smoothly as it could. Take a couple hours to discuss the state of your marriage and you’ll find your activities are more fun because you don’t have the stresses of marriage hanging over your head.

2. Run your virus scan regularly.

Simple enough on the computer front. Use it. Update it. End of story. It’s a little more complicated on the marriage front. To keep your marriage virus proof, make sure you know you keep up with one another. Ask about issues your spouse may be dealing with at work, extended family, and friends. Knowing the state of your spouse is important and checking up on their issues regularly helps your marriage in the long and short term.

3. Delete files you no longer need

Is your desktop look like a tornado hit it? You should really file everything away or delete the information that’s no longer needed. Same goes for a marriage. Did you fight about your husband coming home late 3 months ago? Ok, that file is no longer needed and bringing it up again will likely cause other functions to go haywire. Fight it out, talk it out, throw it out.

Ahhh, if only computers were as easy as marriage .

Technorati Tags: marriage, computer, dell, advice

Share This

I’m in a training session for work this week on change management. Basically the class is about how to get people to embrace change in an organization. It comes down to making people aware that a change needs to or is going to take place, build desire around the change, making sure people have the knowledge to implement and the ability to implement the change and reinforce the behavior.

Today in class we had to write about a change we wanted someone to make. The challenge was it was supposed to be a person away from work. Well in a room of mostly married people, the theme was pretty apparent - those annoying little habits our spouses have. As we shared the change we wanted to facilitate, the person leading the training said something very telling. She said “You see, everyone in the room is only looking at the problem through their own scope and not taking into account how the change effects the lives of the person of whom we’re asking to change.” And she’s right! Talk about being narcissist! When we ask our spouse to make a change, we really only see how the change changes OUR lives and not theirs.

It was a good piece of marriage advice that I got from the most unlikely of places - corporate training! The next time you ask your spouse to make a change, take time to find out how your request will impact them and make sure the change really needs to take place for your to feel complete.

Technorati Tags: corporate training, marriage, advice, husband, wife, change

Share This

Movies, dinner, concerts….been there, done that. Here’s a list of free dates you can try with your spouse the next time your broke or just too cheap to pay for quality time!

1. Open Houses - Find open houses in your area in houses that look fun to go through. The more expensive the better! It’s fun to get ideas or just pretend your in the market for a new home.

2. Cemetery Walking - Not all cemeteries are creepy and sad. Many have walking trails and guides to graves of famous people to look at. The architecture can be beautiful and it’s good place to talk because it’s quiet. Be mindful if there are people there visiting loved ones.

3. Metro Parks - People don’t take advantage of their local parks system. Do a little internet research, find a trail that looks doable based on your activity level and hit the road. You don’t have to go to a big state or national park to find beautiful trails.

4. DVD Time - How many of you have a shelf full of DVD’s have you watch only a handful? Dust off a movie you haven’t watched in eons. Better yet - if you have a DVD that’s never been open. OPEN IT. Break away from the old standbys.

5. Organize Pictures - Go through your old pictures that are in a box or on a hard drive. Take the time to look and organize them together. Don’t look it at like it’s a chore, it really can be fun to go through the past together!

Share This

I know we’re in a recession-type situation and all, but who doesn’t like to spend cash frivously every once in a while. You know, walking into a store just because you’re *looking* and coming out with a new purse or putter you don’t need. We all do it from time to time and a vast majority of us probably have some buyer’s remorse after the deed. Well, if you’re going to go spend some cash, you might as well buy something that’s good for you marriage. Here’s a list of products that I’ve used or know people have used that help build a healthy marriage!

1. GPS: End the battle of the directionally challenged! This was simply the best $150 we have spent in a long time. It makes long trips more leisurely because you know how and when you’ll arrive at your destination. I felt like my husband and I can enjoy long trips in unfamiliar areas more.

2: The Book of Questions: If you have the GPS, you have more time for conversation. This fantastic little book has hundreds of value-testing questions. Remember, you always have more to learn about your partner.

3. Wii: I’ve talked about our Wii a bunch of times before, but seriously it’s a great way to do something together. You can have a date night of bowling and tennis in the same evening! Fun for the serious and casual gamer.

4.*Ahem* Marital Aids: Too embarrassed to go to your local adult bookstore? Never want to step foot in a Hustler or other adult oriented shop? Now you don’t have to. Drugstore.com has a tab called Sexual Well Being (don’t worry, the link is just to the homepage for you at-work readers). You can get a rather impressive variety of toys to keep your marriage hot!

5. Crockpot: Speaking of hot, who doesn’t love a hot meal? Crockpots are a quick way to have a home cooked meal without having to sacrifice time together. Think crockpot cooking isn’t cool or inventive? Read on.

6. Biggest Book of Slow Cooker Recipes: Great cookbook for those how think crockpot cooking is for old people or those with bland taste.

Share This