It seems recently I’ve heard from a lot of people who are on the fence about their marriage.  In the words of The Clash “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”  If you want my answer, proceed with caution.

Maintaining and saving a marriage take a lot of work.  Some who give marriage advice think that every marriage is worth saving.  I take a different stance on the matter.  Sometimes ending a marriage is the best choice.  Here are some very valid reasons for contemplating divorce:

• Abusive Spouse - You aren’t going to get hit once.  They aren’t going to change.  It’s time to gather your courage up and leave before it’s too late.
• Addicts - If one spouse is an addict and gets clean, I think the marriage can be repaired.  But it’s not healthy for two addicts in recovery to be in a marriage, at least initially.  Work on yourself, change you perspective and your life and see where that leaves you.
• Marriage Haters - If a spouse realizes they don’t like being married, it’s not going to work.  This situation has nothing to do with the spouse, there are just people out there that are not cut out to be married.
• Cheaters - I know couple that have made their way through this struggle, but an affair is so harmful to a marriage.

So often when people think about ending a marriage they think about what their family, friends and coworkers might think of them.  Divorce is a personal choice and you need to think about what’s best for you, your spouse and your children.  Put aside your pride, put aside the whispers and decide what’s right for the both of you.  Divorce doesn’t have to be all pain and suffering.  No doubt it’s an emotionally and financially painful process but if you remember when you loved the other person and you remember a time that their opinion was the only one that mattered, you can come out the other side with a mutual respect and a clean slate.