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Dr Humayra Abedin- When Arranged Marriage Goes Wrong

Posted by Heather on July 17th, 2009

I recently read a horrible story about Dr. Humayra Abedin, a woman who was tricked by her family into returning to Bangladesh, drugged and nearly forced into marriage for nearly 4 months before a Dhaka court ruled that she be returned her passport and allowed to go back to her life in London.

Her family vehemently disapproved of her single lifestyle and the fact that she raised Muslim but had a Hindu boyfriend.  Family member had commented on occasion about her marital state, but never did she think she would be beaten, humiliated and kidnapped by the hands of her family and the men they hired to abduct her.

After nearly two weeks,  Dr. Abedin was able to text a friend “Please help me. My life is in danger. They have locked me in house. My job is at stake. They are making my life hell.”  That was August 11th 2008.  It wasn’t under mid December that she was finally released.

When asked about the ordeal, Dr. Abedin said  “I’m relieved that I’m free, I’m happy. I just want to say thank you to all those who supported and helped me. I’m fine and I’m feeling happy. I don’t have any bad feelings towards them. They are my parents so I don’t have any bad feelings.” Gasp.  No way would that be MY reaction, but good for her for being able to forgive.

In so many cultures arranged marriages are the norm and they work wonderfully for some.  However, now that children are moving abroad, it’s more difficult for that part of the culture to remain.  I’m glad that she was able to choose her own life because it wouldn’t have been so long ago that a court wouldn’t even hear the case.

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Arranged marriages can work if and only if the parents on both side truly know their children. Since few parents do, the odds of these working are slim. The only thing that keeps them going is cultural pressure.

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How scary! I was just telling my friend the other day I jokingly thought we should bring arranged marriages back, but even if that was the case it should be by choice, not force!

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