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Say What’s On Your Mind
Sometimes in a marriage we are overly polite. We don’t want to make a mountain out of a mole hill. I’m talking about the 101 little things that your spouse does that shouldn’t bug you but they do. I’m talking about when the other person leaves the toothpaste cap off, doesn’t empty the trash when it’s full or leaves crumbs on the kitchen counter. We all do things that will bug the other person; no one is perfect.
There are two not-so-effective methods of dealing with these silly little issues that can drive you crazy. Number 1, nag. Nag, nag, nag. Whine about it and moan. Number 2, keep it in and stew about it. Grumble under your breath when the person can’t hear you and never tell them it bugs you. Sigh loudly. Repeat steps and hope the other person takes the hint. Both are these are STELLAR ideas if you want to piss your partner off to no end.
Try this. Tell them that it bugs you, try to find ways to make the task easier for them, remind them every once in a while when they aren’t doing it but not every time and thank them occasionally when they do it correctly. Just make sure the compliment isn’t in a “good dog” kind of way. Sometimes the small things in a marriage make all the difference. And that difference can run in both directions.
Great reminder of how we should all work at communication.
The only thing I would add is that when you are telling your spouse that something bugs you, try to do it in as non-emotional a way as possible. An emotional response comes off as angry, whiny or aloof and doesn’t invite a positive reception.
If we want our spouses to listen and take action, then we should try not to come at them with very emotional messages.