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3 Ways To Stay Married
Last weekend Mr. Diva and I attended the wedding of a college pal. It’s so fun getting together with our friends we spent so many nights partying studying with. Although I don’t want to go back to my college days (I kind of like being able to buy GOOD beer and eat meals with REAL vegetables), but I do wish we all lived closer. A lot of couples came out of those days and they are just a blast to spend time together.
Like most weddings, there was something unique I had not seen before - a wedding advice/good luck message tree. It was a pretty decorative tree with empty branches. Under the tree were gift tags covered with leaves. Each guest was asked to write a message to the newlyweds. I wish I would have noticed it BEFORE cocktail hour because my advice was limited to “May all your ups and downs be between the sheets”. I thought it was cute when someone gave it to me, but who knows how that went over.
I’m going to use this post as my do over advice. We’ll call it The Three Marriage Diva Rules to Stay Married By. And remember, these rules are a two way street.
1. Treat your spouse better than you treat yourself on your most selfish day. I am not suggesting you ignore your well-being, but I am suggesting you pamper your husband or wife whenever you can. Pick up their favorite dessert, cover their feet if they are sticking out of the covers on a cold night, or rub their shoulders after a long day without being asked. You can make yourself happy by making them happy. Doing nice things for someone should never feel like a chore.
2. Find reasons to compliment your spouse everyday. Don’t lie, of course, but let them know you appreciate them. Even if it’s just to say their butt looks good in a pair of jeans.
3. Trust each other unwaveringly until there’s real reason to mistrust your spouse. Let’s say your spouse goes out with friends and stays out a bit too late. Don’t assume they are up to no good and berate them the moment they come home. Tell them you aren’t happy with the behavior, but don’t go all psycho on them. You know when you have a reason to be suspicious and when you’re acting like a raving lunatic.
The three rules suggested are good but I’d like to add the following:
- Say “I love you” at least once a day, with feeling, looking your spouse in the eyes (if possible!)
- Go to bed at the same time
(i.e together), unless you’re working different shifts or schedules, and ALWAYS kiss each other goodnight.
- Don’t fall asleep feeling angry at your spouse. Either work out the problem before falling asleep or agree on a specific time the next day when you’ll discuss the issue together, calmly.