I’m in a training session for work this week on change management. Basically the class is about how to get people to embrace change in an organization. It comes down to making people aware that a change needs to or is going to take place, build desire around the change, making sure people have the knowledge to implement and the ability to implement the change and reinforce the behavior.

Today in class we had to write about a change we wanted someone to make. The challenge was it was supposed to be a person away from work. Well in a room of mostly married people, the theme was pretty apparent - those annoying little habits our spouses have. As we shared the change we wanted to facilitate, the person leading the training said something very telling. She said “You see, everyone in the room is only looking at the problem through their own scope and not taking into account how the change effects the lives of the person of whom we’re asking to change.” And she’s right! Talk about being narcissist! When we ask our spouse to make a change, we really only see how the change changes OUR lives and not theirs.

It was a good piece of marriage advice that I got from the most unlikely of places - corporate training! The next time you ask your spouse to make a change, take time to find out how your request will impact them and make sure the change really needs to take place for your to feel complete.

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