Rachel Dratch used to play this character on SNL called Debbie Downer. Basically she was that person who, no matter how good things are going, only had negative things to say. It was pretty funny ON TV! Today I want to address the issue of people in our lives that are complete Debbie Downers of marriage (herein referred to as DDoM) .

To be a DDoM, the person must be married. Divorcees don’t count. The have other issues to deal with if they are a little down on marriage, it’s ok. For a while. I have a cut off for them too, but that’s for another post.

Some of the traits include of a DD include:

• Constant whining about their spouse and the opposite sex in general.
• They bitch and moan about the lack of attention/sex/home cooked meals/flowers/love/affection from their spouse.
• They are always trying to get other spouses (of their own gender) on their side, thus making life more difficult for other husbands and wives.
• They only want to commiserate and bemoan their lives rather than take advice from their audience.
• Did I mention they are whiny? They are. Take my word for it.

I have a marriage saboteur in my life like this, and as much as I care about this person it drives me crazy. Randy and I have talked and vented about it quite a bit and realize there’s nothing we can do to stop this person. Advice as be asked for, given and ignored only to be replaced with more of the same complaints.

What can you do? They aren’t willing to make changes, their spouse isn’t willing to make changes, so there you have it. A broken record. I haven’t quite gotten up the nerve to tell the person “DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT OR SHUT UP ALREADY!”

Do you have a friend or family member who is a Debbie Downer when it comes to marriage? How do you deal with it? I hear strangling them is out of the question (something about laws or something).

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