I’ve been doing some reading on individuals who are anti marriage; people that are in committed relationships and see the act of marriage as stifling and a historic monstrosity. I’m talking about the individuals who believe don’t see marriage as the joining of two lives to work together but rather the dismantling of two lives.
But my favorite kind of people and the ones I’ll concentrate on today are the couples who get married anyway, just to make life easier. The ones that think they know so much more about the evolution of the human spirit, but get married to make things easier and to get their families off their backs. You see, they are tired of having to explain their marital views because it takes away time they could be spouting off about explaining how the holiday everyone in the room is there to celebrate is just another way for the Christian Right to keep a firm hold on Americans. So it’s just easier to get married and complain about how patriarchal and antiquated views forced them to.
Don’t even get them started on the antediluvian tradition of the woman taking the man’s last name! Seriously…there’s no way to stop them after that can of worms is opened. To you folks - Very simple. Don’t change your name. If anyone asks why you didn’t (and that’s just rude) just say that you didn’t want to. Don’t use it as an opportunity to give them a history lesson in feminist history. Side note: I honestly believe it should be easier for the man to take the woman’s name if the couple wants to do it that way. It’s waaaay too hard the way the system works now. See - I’m all for progress.
For those who don’t see how a piece of paper makes their relationship any stronger - it doesn’t. Take it from someone who loves being married. The piece of paper didn’t change anything. I felt the same way about my husband after we got married as I did before. But what happened? I formally announced it to him and to myself. Everyday when I get out of bed, I live my life as an individual. I do work I want to do. I do what I want to do for fun. I’m no less an individual today as I was when I was single. Marriage just added responsibility and accountability to my life. I’m proud that I’m his wife and he’s my husband. I’m proud of him as a person and I am the only person in the world that can call him husband.
For those marriage haters out there who say they love their live-in partner as much as the married couple next door, I don’t doubt it. But to someone who still believes in marriage, you’re taking the easy way out. At the end of the day, it’s still easier for you to walk away than someone who vowed to stay with their spouse for life. Don’t think you’re better and more intelligent than I because you see yourself as more enlightened to modern life. And don’t get married to make your life easier. You’d make more of a statement if you remained unmarried and kept your soapboxes separate.
I anticipate a flurry of emails or comments on this. Just an FYI - I do have an ed-u-ma-cation. I’m not a very religious person, I voted Obama in the primaries, I like the work of Mapplethorpe and I firmly support the right of any adult to marry any adult they choose, regardless of gender.
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[…] The Marriage Diva weighs in on the question of whether marriage is necessary with a bit of a rant at the “marriage haters.” […]
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