I don’t know why I do it, but I put The View on everyday to listen to the hens ladies discuss the latest and greatest news items during their Hot Topic segment. Of course, I don’t hear too much because 80% of the time they are talking over one another. When they aren’t clucking talking over one another, they are waiting to speak. You can see it in their face; poised, all their words all picked, ready to make a point that will dazzle the audience who will reward them with applause.

But during that time, when they are concentrating on their upcoming words, they might be looking to one of the other cohosts and making eye contact, but are they really listening? I’m guessing not because 9 times out of 10 they are responding to a statement made earlier in the conversation. The argument doesn’t seem to move forward as quickly as it should. I will give them that some of the time the points they raise are important, but sometimes it’s just for the sake of a jab or unfunny joke (I’m talking to YOU, Joy Behar).

Couples sometimes do the same thing when arguing. We’re so concerned about getting our point across that we don’t take in what the other person is saying, so the argument seems to run in circles, never coming to a resolution. Try establishing some Rules of Order (anyone in a fraternal group might remember Roberts Rules of Order). I’m not suggesting you take your heated discussions to that clinical level, but here are some rules you might want to think about:

1. One Topic at a Time: If you are arguing about division of labor in household chores, don’t bring up the fact he stayed out too late last week. Get the task at hand out of the way.

2. Listen to Him/Her: Don’t develop your argument while the other person is talking. Listen to them. If that means when they are done talking you need to talk a few seconds to gather your thoughts, do it! This makes for a well thought out argument and hopefully a shorter fight.

3. Allow for Rebuttal: I think that women might be more guilty of this then men. Ladies, we loooooove to talk. But we need to stop sometimes. Resist the urge to keep talking. Make your point and get your husband talking. Guys, we’ve shut up. Say something.

Of course, if the ladies on The View did this, it would sound more like a PBS news show. That would be kind of boring, but in a marriage, that kind of boredom can make for some pretty happy times.