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And In This Corner…
Right now I’m really angry at my husband. I won’t get into details and it’s not a big deal, but let’s just say this is one of those times you know what people are talking about when they say marriage is work. I must say I really enjoy the easy parts of marriage much more than this. It’s not very often we fight or that I’m disappointed in him, so dealing with it can sometimes be more difficult for me than people who have more frequent marital strife.
A recent study from the University of Michigan suggests that couple that fight, live longer. Seriously, I don’t think that would work for me. I hate feeling like this. I know my blood pressure is through the roof and fighting would only make it worse. I’ve said what I need to say to him about the situation. I believe he’s said everything he wants to say to me on the topic. I see where he’s coming from (wrong though he may be). Hopefully he sees where I’m coming from and soon we’ll be able to sincerely apologize and move on. That time just isn’t right now. If I fought with him, I would just wind up saying something I would regret. I recognize that I have a mean streak and I’d rather not revert to childish name calling or low blows. I just need a cooling off period and my trusty laptop to keep me company.
How do you fight? Often? Are firey tempers the norm in your house? Do you fight like your parents fought? Do you and your spouse have different fighting styles?
**Update** I’m over it. Apologizes were made, hugs were given. End of fight. Tip to the ladies – when a fight is over, it’s OVER. No fair pulling it out for future use. You know as well as I do we tend to hold on to things longer than we should. Let’s break away from our bad habits and fight a fair fight!
Technorati Tags: marriage, husband, wife, fighting, feud, arguing
My husband and I did in fact have very different “fighting” styles early in our dating relationship. I would keep shutup while boiling inside, not really being able to listen to what he was saying and then suddenly just burst out something really hurtful and leaved the room. But he taught me to communicate, he would hold my hand and be supportive while I tried to put into words what I was feeling, something new for me. We came up with 3 rules that have proven golden during our relationship and marriage:
1. Always tell each other everything and never lie, even if you think it may hurt the other person.
2. Never part or stop communicating until a discussion is really over and we are both happy again. (the hardest for me!)
3. When discussing always keep normal voice tones and never use certain words: bad names, “always”, “never”, etc. (sometimes you can get angry by the way the other person is talking, rather than by what he is actually saying…)