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Built In Life Coach
Marriage gives your a built in life coach. Ok, it’s a life coach with something at stake in the outcome, but a life coach none the less.
I’m having job search issues right now. I’m in a good place really. I have lots of offers and interview opportunities coming in, but I’m not sure what to do. Long story short - I verbally accepted a temp job but while waiting for the official offer, I got two hella good interviews offers. And yesterday, another tentative offer.
What’s a girl to do? Before I was married, I would consult my parents and friends. But their motives are different than that of a husband or wife. I consulted a couple other people on the issue; friends and internet message boards. I don’t consult my parents much anymore because they think my career basically amounts to “working with computers and the world wide web.” Well meaning, yes. Helpful? No.
Anyway, this has been eating at me - string along the firm offer while I interview and get the other company to fight for me or quickly decline the offer. Today it got to be too much. I wrote my husband a panicky email and he suggested we meet for lunch. So there we sat in a Mexican restaurant as I went on and on about my dilemma. He listened, gave advice, played devil’s advocate and listened some more.
Then it dawned on me - my happiness and job satisfaction are as much his problem as it is mine. If I’m not happy, then he’s going to be less happy. If things are going crappy at my job, it’s going to affect US as a couple and family. You’d think after six years I wouldn’t still be amazed how our lives become more and more entangled each day. When I make a decision, I think how it will affect him. Will it negatively or positively impact his life?
Not all decisions are huge life changing issues. Now, if I’m going to buy extra pillows for the bed, he may THINK it negatively affects his ability to quickly snuggle into bed, but he’s wrong. And extra pillow will not kill you to remove. I promise. If it does, you can tell me I told you so from beyond the grave.
