I am very uncomfortable with this type of relationship. There’s a difference between getting along and having a relationship with a person who

1) Their label has the word “spouse” in it
2)You feel they understand you in ways your spouse can’t
3)You are sharing things with them that you should be sharing with your real spouse

I also don’t like how these sort of things encourage flirting.

There’s a difference between a relationship where you just get along and one where you are thinking about getting it on.

And just for the record, neither my husband nor I have a work spouse.

I commented on the original post and had to follow the link over here to see if there was any more commentary.

I agree with DJ and am very uncomfortable with this concept because if you look up the definition of emotional affair - there are some of the same elements especially the shared confidences and openess.

My husband is an elementary school teacher and works with 95% women and sometimes that is hard. I work in a large company with both men and women and have developed friendships with the men but I am careful to make sure that they are nothing more than friendships and am not any closer to them than I am my female friends.

I have seen too many instances where the flirting becomes more and doesn’t end well for any of the parties involved

I have to disagree. I feel that this might be someone that you are with everyday for 5 days and just feel comfortable around that person. You don’t have to flirt or be attracted to that person but instead this is someone who you have that instinct to talk to them first about any issues you may be having or just trusting them. Think about it you are with this person a majority of your day in fact you probably see this person more than you see your on spouse. And might feel like a close friend since they probably know quite about about you and your family from talking everyday.

Actually, we have been researching and writing a book about this for some time. We just started a blog and a website; both are at the beginning stages, so please forgive us for that. But we’re trying to hear from as many people as we can about this. The whole work spouse thing seems to be a topic a lot of people can relate to. And everyone seems to have strong opinions about the whole work spouse thing. Please share your thoughts at otherotherhalf.blogspot.com. - Julie and Brad

Good luck on the book, Julie and Brad!

Just from reading the comments here and on other sites, there are definitely strong feelings on the issue.

I think DJ has a good point - it’s not the relationship that’s the issue, it’s more about comparing it to marriage.

Thanks for the support Heather!

Reading over the comments, everyone has valid points. That’s why we are creating our website (and hopefully a book!) A lot of what we will discuss is about where the line is - and what a workspouse is and isn’t. Sure, there are people who take it too far, but there are also people who use this type of partnership to their professional advantage.

[...] Kids, asked for thoughts on the phrase and practice of work spouses. Heather from Marriage Diva has picked up on the topic, and so, too, have Julie and Brad who have been researching the topic. What’s a work spouse? [...]

SO FUNNY! I work in an office with 8 other people… only 3 of us are women and we joke around about the guys being our work spouses. I don’t think in any other career that I’ve been in have I ever heard of this term. We are very laid back and joke around about it here- it’s all in good fun.

Hmmm I never really thought about which friends at work that I always turn to and try to align my schedule around to at work…so I guess I do have a “work spouse”. I believe that it is completely platonic, we both have our own signficant others and I do not feel phyiscally attracted to my “work spouse”. I just have alot of inside jokes and that person knows what the BOSS and its all in good fun and it doesn’t hurt to have a similar sense of humor. I mean sure I’ve hung out at my “work spouse’s” house with his roomies and stuff but its just casual laughing around the table, chilling. Sometimes I wonder though because I do act differently and feel that I can say stuff I can’t normally say around my actual significant other…but then again its like that when you get together with your girlfriends…you can say stuff you can’t normally say with your BF too…hmmm i think the whole “opposite sex” thing is what makes it an unusual situation…

I use the word wife exuberantly. No, neither the federal government nor my state government acknowledge that Ms. P is my wife. It bewilders conservatives (who’ve been known to sidle up to a friend of mine and ask when it got legalized around here) and flusters all the Good Feminists (in whose numbers I usually claim myself) because it’s such a heteronormative word. See? Fun.

I agree with you and very uncomfortable with this concept because if you look up the definition of emotional affair - there are some of the same elements especially the shared confidences and openess.
have seen too many instances where the flirting becomes more and doesn’t end well for any of the parties involved

Well, I agree. My husband works with a girl who is his partner at work and that doesn’t bother me. The thing that bothers me is they almost had a thing before he and I got together, she’s really “easy”, and I don’t trust her at all. But I have no problem with my husband simply having to have a co-worker he is in close proximity with who is female. I trust him completely.

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I got my business hitched. Yep! I have a work spouse and … So make sure you introduce your family and spouse/significant other to your biz bud and become a … Here are the work couples I found some cornball, but fun(feel free to add to the list:) ….. These w… 5 days ago

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MAD scientist- how nice for you! My SO says he would like to come help in the lab but I don’t have anything he can do without supervision. But I appreciate that he has the interest. He reads more popular science than I do….

A “work-spouse” is basically a person that you work with but you just happen to share your life with. You confide with them and tell them everything thats going on with you. There is this guy that I work with and I tell him everything. Everything from how my day is going to whats going on with my boyfriend at home. Do you think its weird to have a “work-spouse”, if so, why??

a company that makes machines that measure gears. Women aren’t beating down their door for a job. Anyway…I digress. Wikipedia defines it as:

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A work spouse is a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex) with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, special confidences, loyalties, shared jokes and experiences, and an unusual degree of honesty or openness…I think not bad to read this info from your site.

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there are some of the same elements especially the shared confidences and openess.

I completely agree with the above comment, the internet is with a doubt growing into the most important medium of communication across the globe and its due to sites like this that ideas are spreading so quickly.

However, there are folks who are able to do all these things with a married/taken man or woman, and not incur the wrath of that taken man/woman’s significant other: the work spouse.

The relationship between you and your “spouse” might be misinterpreted by other co-workers as a clique. If others feel excluded, it may be a catalyst for personal or professional disagreements.

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Wow a work spouse…Thats different and honestly I am disgusted with the thought of my husband having a work spouse

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It is very good to have near person in the job sector. But sometime it is not so good for the professional sector. I am not telling you that you made a mistake but there will be some types of hesitation. But best of luck for your new spouse. May your relation live long.

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The whole work spouse thing seems to be a topic a lot of people can relate to. And everyone seems to have strong opinions about the whole work spouse thing. Please share your thoughts at otherotherhalf.blogspot.com. - Julie and Brad

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