The debate I kept having was with other women. I couldn’t believe the number who insisted I had to buy a ring and force it on his finger and shouldn’t even give him any say in what it looked like, let alone whether he chose to wear one!

My beloved doesn’t even wear a watch. He can’t stand wearing jewelry of any sort. He also works a great deal with electricity. Both preference (his) and practicality said don’t bother getting him a ring.

I consider it a matter of respect for the individual. After all, if I’d said I didn’t want a wedding ring I know he would have double checked that I’d said what he thought I’d said, and then said okay. After all, that’s what he did when I pointed out the sterling silver frog ring that I wanted as an engagement ring. He didn’t tell me I had to have a diamond so people would know what it meant or that it was important to him that my ring look a certain way.

Ring or no ring, he knows who he’s married to, and he is demonstrative in public after fourteen years of marriage and more than twenty years together. A ring is a symbol, and I happen to be a lot more into symbolism (well, and jewelry) than he is.

If he’d wanted a ring, I’d have gotten him one. He didn’t. I don’t care about whether he wants to wear an outward symbol, so long as he comes home to me every night and acknowledges me when we’re out in public. He does those things. Would he really be more married with a ring than without? I honestly don’t see how.