In a recent article (and soon to be published book), a married couple made the commitment to100 days of sex. They did this in hopes of spicing up their marriage. Ok, I get it. Sex is passion. Sex is excitement. Sex is a little bit naughty (when it’s done right). But scheduling sex for 100 days? You tell me to do ANYTHING 100 days in a row and I’m like a three year old with spinach. I DON’T WANNA!!!!

Planning sex. How incredibly unsexy is that? The act of sex is great, but if a couple truly has bedroom chemistry, there’s a hefty amount of non-sexual tango-ing done beforehand. I might wear perfume I know my husband loves or wear a lower cut blouse. I might give him looks across the dinner table. Heck, I might just hug him extra long. That’s the fun part and that’s what brings spark into the marriage and the bedroom, not planning to have sex 100 times and writing a book about it.

The concept behind this experiment was they would have to put effort into it, thus putting effort into the marriage. My beef is why put effort into an act that really can be effortless.

I’ll propose my own 100 Day Challenge for those who need extra spice. How about 100 days of WOOING. As Chi McBride said to Will Arnett in Let’s Go To Prison “Prepare to be woo-ed, by the master”. First it’s important to understand wooing. Wooing is an art and the end results doesn’t haveto be sex but it should open the door to it. And hey! If it happens - BONUS!

Suggestions and Rules:

• Agree with your spouse to each do something for one another each day for 100 days (or whatever length of time you decide upon).

• Think you’ll run out of ideas? Stockpile ‘em! Jot down ideas as they come to you.

• Write down the act in a shared journal. During some alone time a few days a week review your wooing techniques with one another. Talk about why you did a certain action and see how it made other other person feel. Remember, this is a joint effort. By writing it down you’ll know if your just in the midst of One Way Wooage.

• Make a conscience effort when performing the act of wooing. Ask yourself “Is this something that would make my spouse happy?”

• Check out romance books for ideas or Google phrases like “cheap romantic ideas” or “free romantic ideas”. There’s no need to spend money for the challenge and actually the less you spend, the better! It’s about you and you spouse as a couple - not what you spend.

Here are some ideas I’ve thought of while writing this I think I will do for my husband: Taking the garbage out (hubby usually does that), evening backrub, watching Die Hard or Lord of the Rings with him and NOT falling asleep, seed the bare spots in the yard (he’s been meaning to do it and just keeps forgetting), surprise him with a hot breakfast before work (or donuts from his favorite place depending on my level of laziness), make his favorite dessert, try a new recipe based on his favorite foods (I’m not going to make sauerkraut for my health), stop by the used bookstore and pick a new book for him to read based on others I know he likes…the list could go on and on!

See, it doesn’t have to cost much or anything. It doesn’t have to be a huge gesture - just thoughtful! It’s about remembering you are married to another PERSON!

100 days of a single act like sex is like 100 days of anything you plan without throwing in some variety. Not much fun at all - unless it’s a 100 days of eating chocolate on a beach while effortlessly losing weight and making money. Anyone know how to make that happen? I’ll buy that book!

Technorati Tags: Sex, Romance, Marriage

Share This